"You know, the smallest thing can change a life. In the blink of an eye, something happens by chance - and when you least expect it - since we’re on a course that you could have never planned, into a future you never imagined. Where will it take you? That’s the journey of our lives: our search for the light. But sometimes, finding the light means you must past through the deepest darkness."
- Nicholas Sparks (The Lucky One)
I sat lightly on my bed and browse the channels on the T.V. I said, this is a fine weekend. Everything that has happened was now an experience or a brand new learning. It’s all about how you put your mind to it. It never came easy. I jumped at the thought that I could do things I never knew I could repeat doing. But that’s the beauty of moving on. That moment I realized, I forgot questioning why things did or did not happen. I realized, I lost that overwhelming desire to know the reason either. I realized, the wound was still there., It still hurt but I am healed.
I honestly felt relaxed, and thoughts came effortlessly. I found new treasures along the way. Met new faces, Confronted twisted minds and conflict. I made mistakes, ate too much, I argued, And no longer did I take guilt on laughing so hard when I am really happy. It did not made my heart flinch one bit. It is a clear indication that I am going through the the right direction. All elements are present, and my courage should be on full blow. It was a blissful feeling of wanting to do everything at once. The moment you knew you were out from suffering, you can’t wait but to start anew. To get up fresh and to build everything. From emotions, to faith, to relationships, back together. Once again, my quest for happiness emerged. I have to constantly remind myself that this is a process, this is a choice. Currently ignited by the vision and concept of moving slow, moving fast, and moving on ward s. I found out that things will be a lot lighter if I try taking life momentarily, not being tied down from the past nor discouraged by the future. Trials come in many forms even so, that goes the same thing with blessings. I know that even though it get’s dark every now and then, better days are also coming. All because the things that makes life hard are also, to our great disbelief, the ones that makes everything worthwhile.
Now my favorite show was back on screen. It got my attention. All of it. I was thinking, should I stop writing and watch? Thoughts will be pouring down, they can’t be blocked. Should I focus on what I am doing now or to face that urge I can’t stand a chance of watching twice. Moment by moment. Little by little. The least I could do is try. It will get better I said. Everything will be fine. And today, they already are.
Do you remember the Hospital Colton? “Yes Mommy, I remember.” He said. “That’s where the Angels sang to me…”
I was glad to have read this book by Todd Burpo. It is based on real life accounts of his then, 3 year old son Colton. The boy said he remembered leaving his body during a surgery, and right then, he visited Heaven. He met Jesus himself together with his great Grandfather whom he recalls looking at his prime. He articulately stated, “In Heaven, no one is old and nobody wears glasses.” The most emotionally challenging part for me(of the story) was when Colton told his Mom about meeting a littlegirl in Heaven who introduced herself as her sister. The girl just a bit younger than her living sister, was actually the baby his mother lost at 8weeks.
I was crying halfway through but I couldn’t put it down. I’ve always believed my child is somewhere out there. He can’t be gone just like that. He was real! And coming with this compilation was just an assurance that he is in a much beautiful place. Loved and cared by someone far more greater. It just hugged my heart a million times! This, is the most wonderful book I’ve read this time of my journey. And It certainly made me believe more.
"It’s good to be strong and be able to bless others, yes. But we learned the value of being vulnerable enough to let others be strong for us, to let others bless us. That, it turned out, was a blessing to them as well." ~ Todd Burpo (Heaven is for Real)
Faces of Love: The Afterword
Though love may come swiftly, there are moments when It ends just the same. I believe love at first sight doesn’t literally happen. Unless you were blind for decades and you saw beauty for the first time. But that, would still be a little hard to fathom. Some people will have the greatest luck and have a slight quick search, some may have a few walks. And for others, it may take their whole lifetime for that task. Love doesn’t come easy. And true love means hard work. It requires patience, faith, honesty, friendship, respect, trust and a whole lot more! It is not just romantic love, It is love in our lives in general. Though It may sound cliche and ordinary, those requisites speak of the truth.
With all these being said(And by now you should have known, that I am the type of person who regards Life and Love above everything..), These two goes hand in hand on my journey, purposely to co exist. I spent my life with no particular mission. But in the process, encounters of love came along. They uplift me, they taught me, they persistently made me better. And in the end, love brought me to the place I realized I searched for so long. As I have placed within me the hunger for happiness and everlasting hope, the journey for true love has ended but my life continues to create miracles day by day. Together with my found love, We will live to weave great stories that someday, we will share to enjoy. There will be laughter as well as tears. It doesn’t matter if it ends well or not. What matters is that we made them together.
I will indulge on my story because I enjoyed the travel. And my company was the best.
**I decided not to include my husband on this and we literally debated on whether it is right/proper for me to reminisce about my past. Sometimes, I would really agree that he might be biased on his views. His thinking is somewhere between a child and a 50 year old who wants to have an amazing pillow fight. Nevertheless, I respected him more than any other man. It is in his opinion that I should not divulge on our life story simply because it is still in the making and I couldn’t agree with him more. Soon, I would take a different approach and start with our story. I will definitely have a good one with him in it. It won’t take long. And I can’t wait!
All the love.,
Thanks for stopping by..
"Every heart beats a little differently, each soul is free to find its way, like a river that winds its way to the sea; for life is a journey, and there are many roads beneath the sky, and there are many good people who don’t see eye to eye."
Fron the song, “Roads”